Will you be you, without explaining?

When I stopped explaining myself, I gave myself room to just be.

You don’t have to explain... Just BE you.

You don’t have to explain why you cried last time you did
You don’t have to explain your silence in the group chat
You don’t have to explain why you didn’t answer the call
You don’t have to explain that you’re tired of explaining.

Breathe. That’s enough. Your existence already justifies itself.

I was never one to double guess myself. Not even as a teenager. I’d wear the weird outfit, make the impulsive haircut decision, say exactly what I thought in class. But somewhere along the way, clarity turned into over-context. I wasn’t doubting my choices I was overexplaining them.

The day I stopped explaining myself I started holding myself accountable by staying close to what felt true.

There was no grand moment. No line drawn in the sand. Just a quiet shift (A slow unraveling of a habit I didn’t know I had). I had been narrating everything, as if I needed permission to feel what I felt.

Not to win an argument rather to feel allowed. Over time (maybe in a thousand small moments), I noticed something: The noise of explaining was drowning out my truth.

So I started doing less:
Less justifying.

Less softening.

More space.

More self-trust.

It worked!

A deep breath instead of a long explanation, a simple “I don’t want to” and a silence that used to be filled with apologies. I wasn’t becoming someone new. I was just returning to someone I had buried under expectations.

Some of my closest friends and siblings became mirrors. They showed me I didn’t owe anyone an explanation. That my choices could stand on their own. That a full sentence could be: “I chose this.” Letting go felt tender. I missed the Fernanda who worked so hard to be understood. But this version of me? She speaks slower. Trusts (herself) more. Doesn’t ask for permission to take up space.

She still doubts sometimes but she doesn’t negotiate her worth. If I could write a letter to the woman I was a year ago (the one always explaining herself) I’d say:

It’s not that heavy. The accountability you seek is already inside you. Doubt isn’t a flaw, it’s a signal. Keep going. You don’t need a map to know you’re heading in the right direction.

🟠 She Rebuilds isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about peeling back the noise until you hear yourself again.

Mini-Reflection: Are You Living Unapologetically?

Take 5 minutes. No filters. Just you and your truth.

1. Scan your week.

Write down a moment when:

• You overexplained yourself

• You justified something you’d already decided

• You felt guilt for prioritizing yourself

How did you feel?

☐ Guilt

☐ Fear of disappointing

☐ Longing to be understood

☐ Other: ___________

2. Ask yourself:

🧠 What need was beneath that explanation? (validation, protection, connection, safety...)

🧭 Would you do it the same way again? If not, rewrite it. One sentence. Firm. Clear. Curious. Yours.

3. Purposeful Close:

Say it out loud:

“Today, I give myself permission to ____________ without needing to explain it to deserve it.” (rest / say no / feel joy / sing in the shower / you name it!)

This isn’t about never explaining. It’s about no longer needing permission to be whole. Your inner clarity speaks louder than any argument and if this landed for you reach out to someone you trust.

Not to explain. Just to say: “You saw me even when I had no words.”

Thanks for being here. You matter more than you know, not because you explained, but because you’re here.

With love,
Fer 💛

*Still standing — from Elton John (Sing,the movie cover worth checking out!), a song that’s carried me through more than once.

Which song has made an impact in your life? (Just one, comment below)